Vienna Marathon
The alarm was not necessary, due to the 2-hour time difference from Dubai, we were certainly already awake on race morning. So, it was a pretty relaxed start, perhaps a touch too relaxed for race morning. Coffee in bed as the sun came up.
We had a couple of hours to kill before we needed to leave our accommodation, which was a stark contrast to racing in Dubai. Vienna Marathon had a start time of 9am, and I was due to meet the Ladies Run Club team at 7:44am.
I went about a relatively normal morning routine, including a quick stretch, breakfast, another coffee, and negotiated tying my hair up approx. 4 times to ensure it was not going to fall out mid race.
My race nerves were at bay, until we sat on the train and my stomach turned. I bumped into Maisie en route who said she felt sick, relatable! But once we reached the pin location that I had shared with the ladies, my coaching hat appeared and I was there to warm everyone up. I was zapped back into a comfort zone and weirdly forgot about the marathon that was about to unfold.
Naturally we all got somewhat separated post warm-up as we went about finding a spot in the toilet queue or walking down to the bag drop. The sun was beaming down on us, there was certainly no need for the layers, we all ditched these mid warm-up.
Luckily, I managed to re-locate Marcus at my starting pen, who was relaxing with a smile. We had time for a quick photo, said goodbye to Jack, and jumped into our pen…along with the other 38,000 runners!
Marcus has been keeping a watchful eye on my training for some weeks now, we both knew the plan, we both knew how the training and build to this race had been. Obviously not all runs had been amazing, that is not realistic, but for the most part it had gone pretty well! I was confident in the 4:25 pace goal. But perhaps more importantly, I was happy with just being on the start line. The main goal I had set for 2023 was to train for an overseas marathon and take clients with me. My second goal was to focus on recovery each week, thus allowing for an increase in training volume while keeping out of harm's way. Here we were on the start line of a marathon, with a group of 20 Ladies Run Club members running and supporting. It was already a huge tick.
The gun went, the elbows were out, people were everywhere, and all fighting for their own space to run. The first KM, 4:25, nailed it! Things picked up slightly from there and at 10km in, following a hydration swap out from Jack, we noticed that average pace was 4:21. Marcus asked how I felt, my response… “worried”. The beginning of the head games commenced. I started to feel an increased sense of concern as the KMs ticked by. Like I was waiting to blow up. Thinking back, physically I was alright! Come the halfway point, I put the brakes on. Abruptly. I was tired, but not dead. I certainly was not feeling fresh though. Why was I not feeling fresh?! As opposed to accepting the reality and cracking on, I gradually started to play out negative outcomes to this race in my head.
I was no longer present, no longer appreciating the amazing crowds or the beauty that is running. Jack located me at about 22km offering me a change of water, which was appreciated. So nice and cold! He jogged alongside me and asked how I was doing. Two words came out “I can’t”. And that was that, I began to spiral. Following this comment, I was simply not able to pull my head back into the game. I had fully lost focus and will. Every now and then, I would realise I could run faster than I was in that moment, and would work my way back to Marcus, who was always lingering in my line of sight. As one point I even said “hey look my conversational pace is back!” It was all very surreal, dipping in and out of running naturally, whilst dipping in and out of mental clarity. But one thing is for sure, my fight was lacking. The goal of getting to the start line was certainly not pulling me to that finish line.
25km - 42km felt like a life time. I cannot recollect too much, and certainly not in chronological order. There was the shaded park where Kipchoge ran his sub 2 hour marathon, the cup of coke that I accidentally took instead of water (and threw back to the volunteer), the time I told Marcus “Ok, let's do 4:30s”, Carla saying hello briefly, Jack running back for a Powerade for me, and the finish line that seemed to not come closer. What a blurry mess!
I sheepishly looked at Marcus as we crossed the line, knowing that it had not exactly gone to plan. We clicked our watches at exactly the same time (3:15:47) and hugged it out. I turned to my left to notice Jack, legend. Always seems to make it to the end of my races. My time wasn’t what I wanted, but looking back, I am not sure that I really know what I wanted. Yes, I was disappointed to see the time, but I was more disappointed in my own mindset throughout this race. Following a week of reflection, I know that I have learnt a lot. So, for that, I am thankful. I certainly won’t go into my next marathon quite so naive. They are hard, and that has to be endured in order to attain the times I desire.
As I sat on the grass and waited for clients to appear post-race I saw a lot. The highs and the lows, it was all shared quite vulnerably. We celebrated PBs and shared some pain. I was in the thick of it. Resonating with others who were disappointed, and being elated by those who had smashed it. We then shuffled our way to the finish line to cheer in the rest of the ladies. Tears became totally normal.
This marathon has a special place in my heart. Something that has absolutely nothing to do with a time on a clock. I launched Ladies Run Club almost 3 years ago, and being in Vienna with the team was absolutely unreal. Seeing these ladies come together to support each other was, and continues to be, so inspiring! Running really does blow my mind, and I am sure that will not change any time soon.
“Danke” LRC, Jack, and MS.
